If Rosanne is the "Domestic Goddess," then Erma is the "Queen of Static Cling."

Before there was Rosanne to educate the public on being a wife and mother, there was Erma.

Here are some words of wisdom from Erma's book, Family: The Ties That Bind - And Gag!

1. Warning to those graduating: "The gowns themselves wrinkle when the lights hit them and hold the heat like a silo. The sleeves are designed to weigh down the collar so that halfway through the ceremony it shuts off the air to the windpipe, making breathing impossible."

2. On silicone injections to correct drooping eyebrows, bags, and sags: "Home solution: Move out before son moves back home."

3. On growing older: "My knees have grown together, my laugh lines are deep enough to plant barley, oats, or rye..."

4. On the children's lack of motivation: "(He) didn't want to be a priest because you have to work Sundays. And didn't want to be President of the United States because there was no chance for advancement. For a while, one of them talked about being a game show contestant, but, face it, he was too cheap to buy a vowel."

5. On her kitchen: "Trust me when I tell you the trash flow is at the flood stage."

6. On Halloween: "It's supposed to be a prelude to a religious celebration of All Saint's Day, but no one will ever convince me it was not started by a group of mothers who were art majors and seized the opportunity to publicly humiliate the rest of us."

To read more of this hilarious book, check it out. The call number is
818.5407 BOM.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

A Woman in the French Foreign Legion

Tomorrow to be Brave
by Susan Travers

Before I'd read this book, I had only a very vague notion of what the French Foreign Legion was. All I could have said is that they were supposed to be one of the very toughest units.

I guess, as a woman, I've never been drawn to military stories, because I didn't particularly relate to the protagonists, who were almost always men, and I didn't much feel like reading about nurses, who seemed to be the only women serving in war time who ever were written about.

So for years, I've simply stayed out of the entire genre. However, this past winter I was weeding our 900s section, and I found this book. I guess it was the subtitle that caught my eye "A Memoir of the Only Woman Ever to Serve in the French Foreign Legion."

This intrigued me, and I began to read the story of Susan Travers, who was not only a woman, but English to boot.

So how does an English woman end up in the French Foreign Legion, sleeping in a hole in the desert, dodging bombs and rifle fire, and driving through mine fields?

To find out, look for this title in the WPL Biography section, with the call number 940.54 TRA.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

2007 wasn't the only year that the Iowa River has had to deal with pollution.

Under the Cloud: the Decades of Nuclear Testing is a very disturbing book. I wasn't even 60 pages into this book before I read about the pollution in the Iowa River.

Back in September, 1945, a paper mill by Tama was making strawboard, using water from the Iowa River. The board was being made for Eastman-Kodak to hold film. Eastman-Kodak was puzzled by the imperfections - little pinhole dots and thin lines - on the film stored in these boxes. After some testing, it was discovered that there was radioactivity in the water used by the mill. The wind currents carried the residue from a Nevada nuclear testing that occurred a few months before. Iowa was in the path of the fallout.

And that wasn't the only time Iowa has had fallout from nuclear testing.

When I was growing up in the '60s and '70s, I learned that nuclear testing was done in Nevada. That seemed so far away. I would have never guessed that there could be problems 1,500 miles away from the test site.

Richard Miller gives a detailed history of nuclear testing beginning in the 1930s. In the back of the book are U.S. maps showing the fallout from nuclear testings done from 1951 to 1963. On the book jacket, there is a map showing all areas of the continental United States crossed by more than one nuclear cloud from above ground detonations. It's scary. This map on the jacket looks like someone shot off the lower section of Nevada and heavily stained the rest of the U.S. with thick, black blood.

Back in the 1950s, people used to plan trips to see the atomic bombs exploding, watching the mushroom cloud form overhead. To help the tourists, The Atomic Energy Commission actually released schedules about their detonations. This was after the bombing of Japan during World War II!

Under the Cloud is a well-researched book about the destruction and pollution mankind has caused from nuclear detonations. If you look at the reviews on Amazon.com, you'll see that I'm not alone in recommending this book.

Under the Cloud is on the second floor under the call number 363.179 MIL.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

The cover of this book doesn't do it justice.

A few years back, I visited Decorah, Iowa, when several artists participated in a city-wide artists' event. Some of the artists had their booths in the Hotel Winneshiek.

I had never been in that hotel, and I was in for a surprise. It turns out that the Steyer's Opera House is located inside. Beautifully restored, the opera house is impressive.

That's why this book caught my eye.

The Opera Houses of Iowa is written by George Glenn, a UNI professor, and Richard Poole, an associate professor at Briar Cliff College. These two traveled across the state with a camera and a tape measure looking for the remains of opera houses. Some of their experiences that they write about are rather disgusting: crawling through boarded up buildings that are now only home to rats, bats, and pigeons (and you know what that means).

They write that there was a time when "a town in Iowa could not be called civilized unless it could advertise programs in its very own opera house." Opera houses held all types of entertainment: big city productions, sermons, talent shows, roller skating, and dancing.

In the back of the book, the authors list all the known opera houses in Iowa. Believe it or not, there were over 1,000 throughout the years. For Waterloo, there were six, and Cedar Falls, seven.

The Opera Houses of Iowa will appeal to lovers of old buildings and history buffs.

It can be found on the second floor, under the call number 792.5 GLE

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

Want a Coke or a Pepsi?

Kristi, the teen librarian, smiled when she saw me. She thought it was humorous that I was carrying a can of (brand name deleted) pop and this book, The Cola Wars: The story of the global corporate battle between the Coca Cola company and PepsiCo, Inc. I'm not going to reveal the brand until I get the deal for a product endorsement. (Remember Reese's Pieces and E.T.?)

Many people are extremely loyal to one or the other brand. My family has a favorite: (Name deleted). However, some have strayed from the path, defecting to other brands - the horror!

One of my co-workers once became very distraught when the vending machine carrying her brand was not working. Feeling her pain, I rushed over to a convenience store, purchased a bottle, and presented it to her. All were happy. I can be nice to people sometimes.

Oh, I suppose I should talk a little about The Cola Wars. Coca-Cola had its beginnings in 1886 in Atlanta, Georgia. Pepsi is a newer product, first sold in 1898. Since then, it's become extremely big business, with huge budgets devoted to advertising in an effort to create a new sensation out of an old product. That's all I'll say. But it's definitely worth reading.

Disclaimer: The book is serious. This article is not. The views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of the author or the library.

Now, excuse me while I stop typing. I need to finish my (brand name deleted) pop before it gets warm.

The Cola Wars is on the second floor of the library. The call number is 338.7 LOU.



c Waterloo Public Library 2007

A memoir of a World War II aviator

When I visited Seattle earlier this year, I had the chance to see the Museum of Flight. It was the first time that I spent any time in museum focusing on airplanes.

There was one fighter airplane that people could crawl into. I watched several young children get into it and have their picture taken. I was amazed at how small the sitting space was. I had no desire to squeeze into the cockpit. I feel claustrophobic just sitting in the seat of a passenger plane.

That visit sparked my interest in World War II history. What type of person would actually volunteer to be a fighter pilot?

Samuel Hynes helps answer that question. I happened across his autobiography, Flights of Passage: Reflections of a World War II Aviator.

Samuel Hynes grew up in Minnesota, dreaming of flying airplanes. At eighteen, he left Minnesota and began his career as a Marine bomber pilot. He flew more than a hundred missions against the Japanese at Okinawa and Ulithi.

What surprised me about Hynes is how he seems to almost downplay his role in WW II.

If you have any interest in World War I and II, be sure to plan a trip to the Museum of Flight and check out this book.

Flights of Passage is on the second floor under the call number 940.5426 HYN.


c Waterloo Public Library 2007

Women artists have been underappreciated

If you asked people on the street to quickly list the women artists they know, you might not get too many. Georgia O'Keefe and Mary Cassatt might be mentioned because of all the calendars their artwork graces.

Even I really didn't know many until I worked as an intern at the Sioux City Art Center years ago. I was asked to put together a presentation on the history of women artists. I was very thankful that I had A History of Women Artists by Hugo Munsterberg to use. By the time I finished the project, I felt like I had completed another course in art history.

The book is a wonderful overview. However, there are some disadvantages. It was published in 1975, which means that several influencial current artists are not mentioned. Also, few reproductions are in color. But like I mentioned, it's still a good book that ranges from the Middle Ages to the mid 1970s. Prehistoric is also covered - but it would be difficult to identify any art piece being created by a woman.

A History of Women Artists can be found on the second floor under the call number 709.2 MUN.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

April showers bring ... April flowers

Just like everyone else I know, the flowers around the house are looking very sad. All of the daffodils are in droopy arches with their flower heads touching the ground.

Not all flowers are like that right now, though.

This past week I went to Hartman Reserve. The hepatica and spring beauty are looking pretty good. If you're not familiar with those flowers, take time to look at Wildflowers of Iowa Woodlands by Sylvan T. Runkel and Alvin F. Bull. This is a handy resource that I have used ever since I became interested in native wildflowers in 1990.

The book is very easy to use, with two pages devoted to each flower. The left page has a full-color photograph. The right page has the written information: when and when you can find the flower; how to identify the flower; and a little history on how the plant was used in the past - if it was food or medicine for the Indians or early settlers.

Wildflowers of Iowa Woodlands can be found on the second floor under the call number
582.13 RUN.

Oh, if you do happen to visit Hartman Reserve, be aware that the flowers blooming right now are very small and delicate - only a few inches tall. It takes a little detective work to find them poking between the old leaves blanketing the ground. Later in the spring, the larger, bolder flowers will be blooming.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

The "National Enquirer" is now available!

OK, admit it. You've flipped through the "National Enquirer" while waiting at the checkout. And for those who claim they never have, I wonder how many of you are in denial or just conveniently "forget." Well, at least I will confess that I have looked them over, and I've purchased a few over the years. After all, who doesn't want to know the latest on who the real father of Anna Nichole Smith's baby is? Now you can come to the library and read it from cover to cover at your leisure.

When you come into the library to read them, take a little time to find and check out The Untold Story by Iain Calder. Calder was the editor-in-chief of the "National Enquirer" for 20 years. Under his direction, the "Enquirer" changed from a collection of gory car crashes and murder victims to a magazine highlighting celebrities. This tell-all autobiography is as shocking as the magazine.

Both, the magazine and book, are on the second floor. After going up the stairs, the magazine will be to your right, filed alphabetically with the other magazines. The Untold Story is shelved under the call number 070.172 CAL.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007

Does it feel like spring, time for baseball?

Well today, March 4, may not feel like spring since the website, Weather Underground, says it's only 20 degrees outsided, with a windchill of -1. Still we need to be optimistic about spring, because that means baseball is here. While looking through the sporting books, I came across a book that I think many of you might enjoy. It's "Anson to Zuber: Iowa Boys in the Major Leagues" by Jerry E. Clark.

Before opening up the book, I thought it would be arranged like most encyclopedias that talk about athletes alphabetically with all the stats listed. I was wrong. Each chapter is devoted to a different time period. It's written more like a magazine or newspaper article, with the athletes' names in bold print.

The index is divided into two parts: "Index of Baseball Personalities" and "Index of Iowa Cities and Towns". That's a feature I really liked. Since I've lived in the Waterloo area all of my life, I was curious about what was listed for northeast Iowa.

Oh, and don't overlook the introduction, either (something I do quite frequently, I hate to admit). There are about nine pages of overview of baseball's long history.

"Anson to Zuber: Iowa Boys in the Major Leagues" by Jerry E. Clark can be found on the second floor under the call number 796.357 CLE.

c Waterloo Public Library 2007